


Lumos

by Charlie9646



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: AU, F/M, Fluff, Gay Draco, Good Severus, Hermione’s Haven Bingo card, M/M, Severus Snape Lives, Transgender affirming magic, eighth year, gay remus, supportive friends, transgender Severus, transgender character, transgender hermione
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-21
Updated: 2020-01-21
Packaged: 2021-02-27 13:33:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,786
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22344136
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Charlie9646/pseuds/Charlie9646
Summary: His mother used to rock him to sleep when he was a young child, she did not read like his father did, she did not sing like his grandmother did. No, his mother used to say ”you will be a light onto the world, my sweet child, a strong light you shall be.”Sometimes it what hard to feel like a light, sometimes it was hard to remember on the darkest night a light can bring comfort. He was going to be a light. He had to be.
Relationships: Draco Malfoy/Hermione Granger, Ginny Weasley/Harry Potter, Severus Snape/Remus Lupin, past Ron Weasley/Hermione Granger
Comments: 7
Kudos: 60
Collections: Hermione's Haven Bingo 2020





	Lumos

**Author's Note:**

> First off this is for Lumos on my card and I went about it in a rather odd way, but I think it fits it myself.
> 
> I rarely make authors notes, they generally are only to thank Betas and make notes on problematic stories. I don’t think this should be problematic, but as much I wish it wasn’t it is. 
> 
> Harry Potter the universe as a whole is and was a light into my life. I grew up with these characters, my father was the same age as professor Snape in the first book when I read it. 
> 
> Harry Potter is like coming home to me. It’s escapism at its best. That’s why I started reading fanfic, and why I started writing it was because I needed to tell the stories I couldn’t find. Like this one. 
> 
> Severus Snape and Hermione Granger are two characters I have always held dear to my heart, for very different reasons. This story uses them to remind people the magical world is not transapobic no matter what anyone says. 
> 
> Please point out things that are wrong with the canon work, but allow those of us who love it even with all it’s problems to love it. This idea was sparked due to my anger realizing that Lupin (who btw is one of my favorite characters), turned Severus into the rather transapobic idea of the man in the dress. 
> 
> For those who don’t understand that issue, trans women are not men in dresses anymore than trans men are simply tomboys. 
> 
> Sometimes we need to tell stories that are sad, happy, beautiful and so much more, but sometimes we need to tell stories that make people think. Through Hermione and Severus I hope you can understand a little more about the people like myself.
> 
> Now on with the story and I apologize for the long note.
> 
> Be the light in the darkness. One voice can turn into a million with just a little bit of bravery. Be brave, be cunning and most of all be strong.

  
His mother used to rock him to sleep, when he was a young child, she did not read like his father did, she did not sing, like hisgrandmother did. No, his mother used to say ”you will be a light onto the world, my sweet child, a strong light you shall be.”

Harper, as he wished to be called, took that to heart. He was going to be a light unto the world. Maybe that's why he wanted to learn everything he could. Before Hogwarts, he assumed being light meant learning as much as he could. So that one day he might teach others.

His Hogwart’s letter changed all of that.

He quickly learned to be a light in the wizarding world helping his friends; Harry and Ron. That together they could be a golden light. That they could make a difference.

But, for every light there is darkness. For as long as he can remember he's known he was different from the other girls. At first, he thought maybe he was just a tomboy, surely that was the case. Ginny was a tomboy, and no one questioned that. Not everyone was like Daphne Greengrass, and that was okay.

The war made him realize that lying to himself helped no one. No him. Not Harry. And surely not Ron.

Harper picked up his brush and started to brush his wild curls out. He hated his stupid hair. He wanted to hack it off with the scissors in the bathroom. The ones that Mrs. Weasley used to cut her sons hair. He didn't care it wouldn't be beautiful if he did it himself, at least it would be gone.

But, instead, he brushed it and tied it out of his pale face. His brown eyes are bloodshot, from lack of sleep the night before. The nightmares kept him awake. The nightmares of Harry’s seemingly dead body. Of Greyback snarling. Nagini. Of Voldemort himself. Of Snape bleeding out on the floor of the shrieking shack. Of Dobby dead. Bellatrix’s stupid, wretched laugh. The fire and knowing one of her classmate’s death eater or not, died in it.

Sleep was never easy for him anymore. It took a while for him to fall asleep and even when he did it was unlikely he was going to stay asleep.

”Hermione some of us have to pee!” groaned Ginny, from the other side of the door.

He took one last look in the smudged bathroom mirror and sighed. It was now or never. He had to tell his friends what he felt. Whether they accepted him or not Harper could no longer lie to them. They or he could die tomorrow if the war taught him anything its life is far too short.

He stepped out of the loo, Ginny rushed past him, and then slammed the bathroom door shut. He walked down the stairs sweat gather on the back of his neck, and yet he also shivered with fear.

This would change everything. It didn’t matter that he and Ron had broken things off. If he knew anything about Ron his friend would struggle to accept this as he struggled to accept most things. Ron whether he would admit or not—was a pureblood wizard—to his very core. Wizarding folks hated change, of any sort.Muggle life and therefore muggles, we're used to change. They were used to the fact time marched on. Each decade felt different than the next.

Wizarding folks, a hundred years could pass and yet the society would still feel the same. 

Harry was sitting on the couch his glasses were sliding down his thin nose, and Ron was sitting in a chair by the fire with his socked feet tucked up.

He said to them, ”Hey guys, I have something to say and I hope you will not be angry at me.”

Harry said, ”Mione, you know you can tell us anything, right? What are far friends for?”

Ron nodded, his ocean blue eyes bright, and he said, ”No matter what Hermione, we will support you.”

”I think... I... Was... Supposed... To be a... Boy.”

Ron said, ”Hermione aren't though, you're a girl and nothing you can do to change that.”

Harry gave him a dirty look and said, ”Ron hear them out.”

He said, ”Muggles have this term for what I am.” His hand tangled in his curls tugging at them, trying to avoid the words that felt like heavy weights on his tongue. As if they glued it to the roof of his mouth. He had to say it. He started this conversation and now he had to finish it. He spits it out so quickly that he worried it might not make any sense. ”I think the term they use transgender fits my feelings best. I am female to male. Please if you could... Call me Harper?”

Ginny stood on the steps of the stairs and said, ”But Harper is a girl’s name. Like Harper Lee the author.”

Harry said, ”Actually, I think that it is a boy’s name.”

Hermione said, ”Actually it’s gender-neutral. If you must put it in a box, but I think it suits me, and it doesn't make me feel uncomfortable the way Hermione does.”

Ron stared at the fire he's pale as a ghost, his hands twist around each other, and as if he is trying to desperately comfort himself. He muttered, ”I am not gay. I don't care what you are, but I am not gay!”

Harry said, ”Ron calm down, no one is calling you gay. No one believes your gay. Whatever Harper is or isn't does not change whatever you are.”

Harper said, ”Ron... Whatever I am doesn't change what you are. We were friends first and foremost, and that is what matters most.”

Ginny said, ”Ronald just stop. Okay? This isn't about you it's about Harper. Please stop making this about you.”

Harry’s green eyes flicked back and forth between Ginny, Ron, and Harper as if he was desperately trying to make sense of the whole situation. Crookshanks jumps on the couch next to him and he grabbed up the cat in his arms. Normally he only tolerated the animal, but after the loss of Hedwig, he had taken to showing the orange cat more attention.

He said, ”Harper... No matter what I think everyone in this room supports you, but I think Ron needs some time, to process things.”

Harper nodded and fled back up the stairs to pack, soon he would be starting his eighth year at Hogwarts, the year no other student had ever had before. The golden trio would be the golden duo, Ron and Harry were both going into Auror training. Harper, on the other hand, would alone, which he had not truly been since the troll had found him in the bathroom back in the first year.

He folded his clothes, the soft worn white cotton shirts, his baggy jeans, his school skirts. Why was he packing these things? He wanted to just burn them all, he should just give them to Ginny. That's what he would do. Trade them to Ginny for some of her brother’s old things that Mrs. Weasley had surely kept. Percy was about his size, wasn't he?

**************************

Harper walked into Hogwarts dressed in Percy’s old uniform. It even had the head boy badge on it. Though as it stands he was head girl, Draco Malfoy of all people, was head boy. McGonagall had made it clear with her letter, no there could not be two head boys, no he could not forgo his appointment of head girl. Whether or not Harper liked it Hermione would not be gotten rid of with a hair cut, hand me down clothes, and a name change.

No matter how much he wished that was the case.

Severus Snape was staring at him, his black eyes slightly unnerving. The man had survived the war—just barely—Nagini left thick raised pink scars on his neck. He was lucky to be alive. His only punishment being he had to teach one last year, but that mostly had to do with the fact Minerva could not find a new potion’s professor in such a short time, then punishing Snape. They only had three months' notice to know that the school year could be able to start on time.

Snape reached out with his long pale stained fingers,Harper wanted to pull away, no matter what he had done, Snape was still Snape. He still was the man who mocked him, he was still the man who was cruel to Neville, he still hated Harry because of who his father was...

The professor said, ”Granger, we need to talk.”

He said, ”Okay professor, where would you like to go to do that”.

”My office.”

Harper followed the man whose robes vaguely reminded him of a bat. Down the steps, down the same steps, he had fought on. The cooler air of the dungeon made him shiver. Snape opened the door of his office and they both went inside.

Severus sat down in his chair and Harper sat on the wooden chair, which was far less comfortable as Snape’s.The professor said, ”Granger, Minerva brought it to my attention maybe I could help you... With your situation.”

Harper said, “What situation?”

Snape sighed and said, ”Harper... I am like you a trans man. Minerva thought it might help you to speak to someone like yourself and help you understand your options.”

He said, ”You can't be like me... You look like a man.”

Severus crossed his arms in front of his chest, ”They claim you are the brightest wizard of your age, surely you know that's the point, don't you?”

Harper stared down at his hands and nodded he then said, ”I never thought it would be possible... To blend in with other men, that no one would be able to tell.”

”With magically and muggle methods you would be shocked by some of the results. It takes time I will not lie to you. The potions are easy to make and I will make them for you if you would like them.”

Harper nodded and said, ”I would love that professor. But, I am shocked you're not pressing me why I didn't come out sooner.”

Severus said, ”I came out when I was eighteen. My family, well my father, was not accepting of my magic. I feared what he would do to me if he found out I was even more of a freak. So, no Harper, I do not question why you did say anything before this year. While you should have been growing into the person you wanted to become; when you should have been learning about magic; when you should have been figuring out who you were?

You were fighting a monster. Not everyone knows the moment they turn three years old what gender they are. It does not make someone any less valid because they come out at eight, eighteen, or even eighty.”

Harper did not know why he did it, and maybe it was the fact Severus Snape of all people was like him, that he offered to help him. Maybe it was just that he no longer felt so alone. People supporting you was like you was one thing, but knowing that there was someone like you who understood what it felt like to be you. He wrapped his arms around Severus’s narrow lanky frame.

He said to the other man, ”Thank you, professor, thank you so much. Will I end up tall like you are? Is it okay that I still like men? Is it okay that I don't know exactly think I want bottom surgery?”

Severus was like a rigid stone under Harper's arms. His shock at the fact his student was hugging him. Harper pulled back and said, ”I am sorry professor, I... Don't know what came over me.”

Severus said, ”It’s nice to know your not alone. And to answer your questions, my mother was 5’10 and my father was 6’3... I don't believe you will get much taller, but anything is possible. Gender and sexuality are two separate things. Your gender has nothing to do with who you want to be with. And on your question about surgery, it's your body within reason you can do or not do anything you want to it.

Don't let anyone tell you anything different.”

Harper stared at his professor’s hand, at the ring that rested on his ring finger on his left hand. Severus noticed that he was staring, “Remus got to me, finally. Convinced me after all the years of sneaking around that we should make it official.”

Harper said, ”Congratulations, professor. And thank you for listening and thank you for answering my questions.”

Severus said, ” You are welcome Harper, now let me go grab you those potions. They are fairly simple to make I am happy to give you the directions for them if you would like. For other things... You must talk to a healer. Madam Pomfrey should be able to give you some suggestions.”

**************************

Harper did it without thought he tried to go up to the girl's dorm, the dorm which he had lived in for three years. As soon as his boot-clad foot hit the top, he tumbled down the slide they had become like a muggle store bag caught in the wind. Merlin, that was going to leave a bruise he thought.

A house-elf stood above him her bright pink pillowcase dress looked brand new. He assumed it was Winky, by the looks of her. She said to him, ”Mr. Granger... You cannot stay in the girl’s dorm anymore! Boys stay in the boy's dorm!”

Harper pulled himself up and brushed himself off, then he said to the elf, ”Then where I am supposed to sleep, Winky?”

Winky sighed and said, ”Winky, will show you.”

He followed the elf, sighing loudly at the foolishness of no one telling him that he shouldn't stay in the girl’s dorm. The truth was though as uncomfortable as it was to fall down the slide that the stairs turned into, it was also affirming to him. It made him feel valid and warm inside.

Even though he wished someone would have mentioned that he should not try to walk up those stairs. But, the truth was magic considered him a boy and he would cling through that through his hardest times. It felt good to enter the boy’s dorm, even though he was the only eighth year Gryffindor boy. All the others had joined the Auror department. For better or for worse it just was.

Harper laid down on his new bed, in his new dorm room, starting his new life.

**************************

Harper was tired of people’s comments on his first day, his potion’s class was his last class, then he could go to his dorm room to hide from the comments of others. People who he had fought with, people who he would have died for. Justin, Terry, Lavender, Pansy and the Patil twins, all besides Parkinson had fought beside him.

Ginny was in the seventh year Potions class, for the first time ever since starting Hogwarts no one wanted to sit next to him. Harper felt like a whining child that he was upset by that fact no one wanted to sit with him. Primary school kids felt horrible about no one wanting to sit with them.

He had fought in a war, he was eighteen years old, he was a Gryffindor. He was supposed to be strong, he was supposed to be brave, he was one of the brightest wizards of his age.

But, then Draco Malfoy of all people walked into the classroom late. His pale face was blotchy as if he had been crying. He walked straight over to Professor Snape, they had a quiet conversation that Harper could not make out. Then Malfoy walked over to where Harper sat and took the stool next to him.

They stared at each other pale blue eyes that reminded of the sky on the brightest mornings, into brown. Harper tugged on his wild curls, even cropped short, they still were wild, maybe even now more so.

Draco said, ”Granger, there is nothing wrong with you, no matter what they say. Now do you want to go grab the things we need for that potion, or should I?”

Harper smiled and thought to himself maybe this year wouldn't be so bad after all. He said, ”I will, Draco and you can please call me Harper.”

Draco smiled at him, ”Well nice to meet the real you, Harper.”


End file.
